Mother's Day

Mother's Day this year was wonderful, for the most part. I went with a good friend to get our nails done and dinner at Paradise Cafe. I really love Maddie. She is so fun to be with and is so inspiring to be with. After hanging out I always feel empowered to be better and do more good. Sounds cheesy but totally true. I sure love that girl. 

The day was great as the boys let me sleep in, and Tyson made a delicious meal. Church was wonderful and I was able to be baby less and enjoy the lessons. 

I am so grateful for my boys. They all made me feel so so special!

I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything. When I made my decision to stay at home and not continue my teaching career, I admit, it was difficult. I have a strong passion for teaching and loved my job. But the minute I laid eyes on Owen, I knew I could never leave that boy. As I have continued my journey of motherhood, my love for this sacred job has grown tremendously. I don't ever want to leave my babies to work again and I feel so lucky to be able to stay home with them. I feel like my job as a mother is the most important blessing given to me. I love these two with all my heart and can't wait to add more special spirits to our family.

Mother's Day evening did not go nearly as planned. We had a friend over using our BBQ and little Graham snuck outside and placed his hands on our hot BBQ lid. Tyson and I were inside and when we heard the screams (that you never want to hear from your child) we immediately ran out to grab him. We quickly carried him screaming to the sink and stuck his hands under cold water. He did not like that and was too hysterical to calm down and keep his hands still, let alone under cold water that I'm sure stung like crazy. We weren't entirely sure how bad the burns were so we kept trying to help him calm down before deciding what our next step was. Luckily Owen was taking a late nap and never woke up during all the commotion. After walking around outside for a few minutes, we decided to put him in a cool tub to try and submerge both hands under water. He was still incredibly hysterical and we decided to go to the Phoenix Children's outpatient urgent care about 8 miles away. By now, Graham was so hysterical he was flailing his body around, shaking from the pain and I really thought he was going to pass out numerous times. I didn't even bother putting him in his car seat and I sat in the back seat with him with an ice pack that I switched from hand to hand trying to alleviate any pain I could. I really think this kept him from passing out, but never did he calm down, not even for a minute.

 The next 15 minutes in the car seemed like a lifetime. Little did I know that this stop at the urgent care wasn't going to end things. Luckily there wasn't a wait and after a few papers were signed we headed back to a room, still with a hysterical child in our arms, and WAITED for the doctor to come in. I'm not going to lie, the mama bear in me was starting to come out. "Why was this dang doctor taking so long!? Can't he hear my screaming child!!" Those were some thoughts going through my mind, but I kept my cool and continued switching the ice pack from hand to hand while Graham was so uncontrollable I was pacing the room back and forth. It was becoming so exhausting and he wouldn't go to Tyson, he only wanted his mommy. After what seemed like forever, the nurse came in with some Loratab to help with the pain. We had to pin Graham down to give it to him, but luckily he took it all. Then the doctor came in to take a look and once he saw that his palms and fingers were burned he immediately said we needed to see specialists and so he was going to call the Phoenix Children's Hospital burn center to prepare a room for us. While waiting for paper work (Graham has yet to even calm down AT ALL) we were wondering why the Loratab still hadn't kicked in. They told us it would within 15 minutes and it had been about a half hour. Nothing changed AND we now had to drive 30 minutes to the hospital. 

It's been about an hour or so since the accident and while driving to the hospital, I continued my routine of changing the ice pack from one hand to the other, Graham on my lap still flailing his body and shaking from the pain. I just kept praying and praying. And I fought back hard the tears that were welling in my eyes. I needed to be strong for him and concentrate on helping relieve any pain if I could. While driving, my ice packs melted and realizing the medicine wasn't going to kick in, I grabbed a pack of wet wipes and had Tyson turn the AC on full blast. I put the wet wipes in front of the cool air and began covering his hands with them. The problem was, because his burns were so bad, the coolness lasted maybe 10 seconds because his screams would escalate and I would need to switch the wet wipes. I did this for the 30 minute drive, almost going through an entire pack.

Once we got to the burn center, luckily we didn't have to wait because they were waiting for us. We went straight to the back where a room was ready, Graham still screaming (hoarsely now) and was greeted by the nurse. He had some wet wash cloths that were soapy and instructed us to wrap his hands in them. The room was HOT, with heaters above and once again the mama bear came out wondering why the heck it was hot in a burn center!? Tyson calmly told me that it was necessary to heal burns and I accepted his explanation. By now Graham's hands had blistered. The nurse gave him some Tylenol with coding, hoping that this would do the trick. If not they were going to keep us overnight and give him an IV.  

Luckily after about twenty or so minutes of being there, the medicine kicked in and he stopped crying. That made all the difference and we could finally breath and relax a bit. He was super irritable and so very tired. Once the doctor came in we were told that they were going to dress the wounds. The nurse taught me how to do it and then sent me out of the room so they could pull off all the dead skin and get a good look at the damage that was caused. They told us that if the skin underneath was pink we were good, but if it was white then there could be some nerve damage. I could still hear Graham's screams a few hallways down and I just tried to distract myself the best I could. After about 15 minutes they brought me back in and Graham's hands were completely dead skin free. They looked terrible and my heart broke into pieces all over again. The nurse then showed me how to dress him fingers and palms. It was really a huge process, taking two people to hold Graham down and then one to do the dressings. They wanted me to just watch so I would know how to properly dress them and not be seen as the bad guy. The dressing process took a while and when they told me we had to do this twice daily my heart sank a bit. 

After monitoring him for a while, they finally gave us the okay to go home. No nerve damage thankfully. They gave us instructions to come back twice that week for check ups. They also sent us home with splints to put on his hands at night. You don't mess around with burns. Especially with children and on hands. After our first appointment, we were told from the burn specialist that we only have "one chance to get this right." No pressure there! We made sure to properly dress his hands and do the hand exercises they showed us as well as put the splints on nightly. I didn't want him to lose any motion or dexterity from scar tissue growing back and I definitely wanted to prevent infection by keeping him out of dirt, sand, water, the pool, and pretty much anything else a little boy would want to play with outside of the house. It was a really tough first week with nightly wake ups from the pain, around-the-clock doses of Loratab, and many many tears of sadness (mainly from mama). I hated seeing my baby in pain and the road to recovery felt so so long.

After 3 and 1/2 weeks, Graham is bandage free!! The sweet boy stared at his hands for what seemed like forever, in awe of what he saw. My heart was so happy watching him. We aren't in the clear quite yet. Graham needs to be seen one more time to ensure his dexterity is okay and that the scar tissue isn't continuing to grow over a few of the creases in his palms. The skin isn't completely healed so he has extremely sensitive skin and we were told this could take up to another month before he will feel back to his normal self.

Graham really has handled the healing process like a champ. With such an easy going personality, he didn't get quite as frustrated as he could have when he wasn't able to pick anything up or play with almost any of his toys for almost a week straight. Walks were held only in his stroller and playing at the park was non-existent. I had to feed him all of his food and after a while that got old too. But he went with the flow of things and was so strong. I am so very proud of my little boy. I am so glad this is almost completely over. It has been exhausting and I hope something like this never happens again. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father that this accident wasn't worse than it was and that I have a happy and healthy little boy.

Love you my Graham boy.